A be-lated IUD procedure post
I’ve mentioned this ages ago and then never updated the second part. Which just goes to show that I really shouldn’t be trusted to do things in two parts, because well… I never get around to it.
So after the blood test and the swabbing, I left. Nothing too exciting about that. I was advised by the doctor I saw before my STD test to come and book an insertion appointment right after my period, because that would be when the opening to my cervix is the widest, and softest or something.
That’s just what I did. In fact, when I booked my appointment, I was still in the spotting stage. I got lucky because there was a cancellation that day, so I didn’t have to wait at all, really. Yay!
The first thing that the doctor did was sit me down and go over the whole procedure again, and show me another model of an IUD in a uterus. She then asked me if I’d gotten an STD check up. I said I did, mentioned the date, and she looked up my results in the system. Good news, I’m clean. Then I was asked to strip from the waist down and lie on the examining table. It’s not really a good idea to wear skinny jeans, even if they make your ass look fabulous. A nurse came in to assist with the procedure, and it might seem a bit excessive but trust me, I was pretty glad she was there. I had no qualms about taking off my clothes or having a complete stranger (or shall we say two?) look at my vulva. Nor was I bothered by the fact that I’d fallen behind on my grooming regime several weeks ago, and was sporting a sparse, straggly, patch of hair with several bald spots and uneven lengths. It’s odd how much it didn’t bother me, given the fact that this was always something I worried about when I was younger. I’m putting it down to a growth in maturity and a severe leap in the “body confidence/acceptance” department. In case you were wondering, I’ve also morphed into that annoyingly creepy female who sashays nude around the female changing room like she owns the place, regreting nothing. It’s more or less a 180 of how I used to be. I’m kind of revelling in it.
Anyway, back to the procedure. The first thing that the doctor did was give me a brief internal examination, to rule out any obvious anatomical anomalities; I had none. Next came a (thankfully) plastic speculum. Not really sure how to describe the feeling of having it expand inside you, but it’s a strange but not horrible feeling. She commented that she could still see a bit of blood right at the opening of my uterus, before picking up a cotton swab with a pair of really long, skinny tongs, dipping it in some sort of yellowish disinfecting fluid, and cleaning my cervix with it. I could barely feel that, although there was a teensy, almost indetectable cold sensation. After my cervix was nice and clean, the nasty part began. The doctor needed to sound my uterus, which basically means inserting a slightly curved, metal rod though the opening of my cervix in order to gain a rough idea of the size of my uterus; this process also stretches the opening a bit, to make insertion easier. I don’t want to put anyone off getting an IUD, but I personally found this to be absolute hell. There’s no adequate way to explain the sort of pain I felt, but it was higher up and somewhere to the side, and it was a mix between a stabbing pain, the sort of pain you get from severe bloating, and regular menstrual cramps. I considered yelling “I change my mind!” but obviously didn’t because a) that’s a bit of a douche-y thing to do since I already had the uterine sound in me and b) I would hate myself for not going through with a procedure that I’d been wanting to do for a while. The nurse stood by my head the whole time, whispering words of comfort. That actually helped a lot. After the sound was removed, and my uterus deemed to be something like 10cm (I think. It may have been 8cm), it was time for the main event.
The T-Safe 380a (which from my understanding is basically a Paraguard) that I was fitted with came packaged applicator and all, in a sterile plastic blister. Inserting it was basically like inserting a tampon with an applicator. You take the long, thin tube (which looks like one of those straws you get from Kentucky Fried McBurger King), fold the arms of the T-shaped IUD against its body, and insert it into one end of the tube so that the side with the arms is facing the outside. Then you stick that end into the opening of the cervix, and push the IUD into the uterus with the plunger. The arms of mine were apparently “very springy.” Not sure if that’s a good thing or not. Guessing it’s just a comment. Insertion felt more or less the same as sounding, but it was over in a couple of deep breaths. I was advised to lie there for a while, because apparently a number of people tend to not do well if they get up immediately. The nurse handed me a pad because I didn’t bring one, and told me that I would likely have spotting for the next few days, like an extended period. I pressed it into my underwear and got dressed. The doctor sat me down again, informed me of the model I was fitted with, and gave me a little info sheet with the model information, date of insertion, and date of expiry and a few FAQ regarding what to expect with a newly inserted IUD. I thanked her, left, and that’s pretty much it.
I got a text informing me that the results from my latest STD check were all negative after I left the clinic. Haha.
I’ve just finished three periods with my IUD, and I’ve used my menstrual cups with all of them, as before. I stuck with my softer Lunette and Melunas during the first two, but this last period all I wore was my Mooncup, which is my firmest cup. No problems so far, and my be-lated six week checkup indicated that everything was still where it should be. Contrary to what I expected, my period did not get heavier, although I do have prolonged spotting after the main event, and I do now experience menstrual cramps. Although I’m sure they’re not as bad as they could be, I’m just a wuss who’s never really had cramps before.
So yeah. This has been a post.
